What Jim has learned today

I learned a new word … flummoxing. I found it used in an article in The Atlantic. For the life of me, I just can’t imagine ever using this word even though I myself am often flummoxed. And I find it a flummoxing sort of thing in and of itself … being so flummoxed over the word flummoxing. What I find most flummoxing is the fact the author of the article chose to use this word when there are so many other words, words I wouldn’t need to look up, words that would do just fine in place of the word flummoxing. Already today, I’ve been completely flummoxed several times. I was flummoxed when I opened my mail. Last week, in response to a flyer the cable company sent me, sent all of us, sent us all over and over and over again, telling me I could upgrade for a mere $79 per month, I upgraded. But today, when I opened the bill I saw it was for $190 … quite flummoxing. I was flummoxed at lunch. I’m often flummoxed at lunch. I’m married to a woman from East Asia and I rarely know what it is I am eating … really … not a clue … very flummoxing … but in an exotic sort of way. About a month ago when I was about to print a document several pages long, a warning popped up on my computer screen telling me I was running low on ink. I used to heed this type of warning. But to replace both the color cartridge and the black cartridge cost me $3 more than the printer itself so I procrastinated. I became flummoxed when three weeks and over a hundred pages later … I’m still printing in spite of this low ink warning. Three days ago, lights started to flash on my printer and the on screen warning changed from a low ink warning to a change your cartridge or your printer won’t work imperative. So I removed my empty ink cartridges then reinstalled the same cartridges still printing. I find it very flummoxing my printer hates me so much it lies to me. What have done to warrant this hatred? I’m most flummoxed that I’m being told I have no color ink I have never … never … printed a color document on this printer. I find the speech of politicians, general relativity, soap that is 98 percent pure, edible bouquets all very flummoxing. Flummoxing, such a lousy word, I commit myself to never use it. Life is confusing enough without it. This is all I have learned today.

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James Wares is retired and resides in Marshalltown. He can be reached at whatjimhaslearnedtoday@yahoo.com