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I'm Outta Here!

April 1, 2008 - Wes Burns
This is going to be a short one as I will soon become a multi-millionaire and leave the fast paced world of blogging forever.

I will one day be able to tell it to my grand children. There I was, just mindlessly perusing the Internet when I decide to check my email. I myself use Google's mail service; its dependable, reliable, and in many other ways similar to an old pickup.

Google has offered me many new applications and options just for using their service. They gave me Gmail for all my email needs. They gave me Google Image search so that no longer would I have to try and remember what Bruce Boxleitner looks like. They gave me Google Earth so that I could amaze my friends for all of four minutes until we realized we couldn't see ourselves if we took my laptop outside and waved.

Imagine my surprise when I found all the answers to my life's problems gift wrapped and delivered by Google. Gmail now offers a feature where you can post-date an email. How fantastic is that? You can send an email hours or even days late and Gmail will make your email appear on the other computer at your desired time. All in real-time!

You're probably asking yourself how this is possible, I know I did. I started to read the thorough explanation provided but once I got the section about e-flux capacitors I could only think of one thing: I like money!

So I think this shall be my last blog faithful readers. I have already used this service to send emails into the past to inform myself to purchase stocks and lotto tickets. Just checking now and I already have something in my inbox form myself. Soon the money should be pouring in and I'll have to spend all my days trying to figure out just how to spend it all.

I walk away from the computer screen now and as I look towards the morning I am filled with a renewed sense of hope and calm. Thanks to my new ability of digital time travel I am off to start a new chapter in my life, on this day of April 1st, 2008.


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