I learned the America we all know and love had its beginnings in World War 0.9 … sometimes called … well … until now … has always been called … The Seven Year’s War. Even though there were at least nine nations at each other’s throat during WW 0.9, because I have only a thousand words to work with, we are only going to concern ourselves with three, Britain, France and Spain, and, we will cover a hundred and six years of history in six paragraphs. So, read fast.

North, Central and South Americas were an immense expanse of land and resources and these three imperial powers each wanted as much of it as they good get their hands on. Gimmie! Gimmie! Gimmie!

Up to this point in time, Spain controlled the western half of South America, up through Central America in its entirety and into what is today Texas, New Mexico and points beyond. France controlled the eastern half of Canada, down through the Ohio River Valley all the way to the Gulf of Mexico; the Louisiana Territory. Britain, they controlled a little strip of land called the Thirteen Colonies. France wanted to move into areas upon which the Brits had designs. A series of skirmishes ensued. At one of these skirmishes, a young officer named George Washington kicked some French butt. Each side enlisted help from the various nations of the very first Americans who settled here ten thousand years prior the Brits, French or Spanish. Because of these alliances, these skirmishes became known as the French/Indian Wars which were one of many battle theatres of WW 0.9

France lost. They lost Canada and all the Louisiana Territory. France was sad. Spain was happy because they got the western half of the Louisiana Territory and the Brits were happy because they got everything else.

After the war, Britain was broke. So they imposed taxes on the thirteen Colonies who fought alongside British troops to win the war. The Colonies didn’t much like this so 13 years later the Thirteen Colonies revolted and became the United States of America … which the French helped us to do. Keep in mind, at this time, France is still sad …very sad … because it lost the Louisiana Territory. The French helped us because they didn’t want the Brits to get their grubby hands the Louisiana Territory.

About 40 years later in 1802, for some reason, Spain gave the Louisiana Territory back to France. France was happy again.

But France had this emperor named Napoleon Bonaparte who liked to wage war. War cost a lot of money and France was broke because of Napoleon’s reckless affinity for war. So France didn’t really have the resources to occupy and settle the Louisiana Territory they had just gotten back from Spain. Nevertheless, Thomas Jefferson was a bit nervous about this Bonaparte guy. He was afraid that if Napoleon set his designs on the actual occupation of the Louisiana Territory, the United States would need to ally itself with the very nation they just revolted against … the Brits. So in 1803, Jefferson says to Napoleon, “I hear you’re in a bit of a situation. Let me help you. Let me make you an offer you can’t refuse.” Hence, the Louisiana Purchase. But France was sad because it once again lost the Louisiana territory … which brings us to May 5, 1862 … Cinco de Mayo.

There! One hundred and six years of history in six paragraphs. I said all this to make a singular point, that France was sad about this Louisiana Territory thing. Now! Read slow.

At this juncture, for the sake of brevity and blessed denial, I need to step over some minor details having to do with Mexico, who for decades had to defend its homeland and freedom against some imperial powers, except to say they very courageously did. Mexico incurred a great cost in blood and treasure in doing so. Suffice to say that Mexico, because war is expensive, had to borrow heavily from the three imperial powers, France, Britain and Spain.

So, Mexico was broke and deep in debt. They needed time to pay back these three imperial powers. They wanted to defer payment for a period of two years so they could breathe a little bit. This teed-off France, Britain and Spain and all three sent armed forces to Mexico to collect. After some negotiations, Britain and Spain saw the reasonableness of Mexico’s debt re-structure plan and sailed back to Europe. France had other plans.

The United States’ heart and resources were pretty much tied up in a bloody civil war. Needless to say, we were quite distracted and vulnerable. We were too busy fighting among ourselves to pay much attention to our southern border. France saw this as an opportunity to reassert power in the Americas. Mexico would make a convenient forward base from which France could assist the Confederacy and re-take the Louisiana Territory which by now was called names like Kansas, Nebraska and Iowa. France’s designs on the Louisiana Territory ran into a wall…of Mexicans. France landed a first wave of 8,000 troops at Veracruz and marched off to Mexico City. On May 5, 1862, they were met at a little town called Puebla by less than 2,500 Mexican troops consisting mostly of peasant farmers who fought so valiantly, the French retreated back to their ships and sailed back to France.

So! Is it because of Cinco de Mayo that I speak Iowan instead of French? I don’t know. Does the player who crosses the goal line, scoring the winning touchdown, ever look back and acknowledge those who fearlessly used their bodies to clear the way? I know it would be arrogance not to.

I learned when a people cling to an edited and revised version of history, truth is edited and revised from their lives and their national identity. Not only do we adopt a distorted image of ourselves, but we take on a distorted image of others. This is all I have learned today.

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James Wares lives in Marshalltown and can be reached at whatjimhaslearnedtoday@yahoo.com