Local couple passes a day apart after 62 years of marriage
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Nothing about Art and Sandi Duncan's relationship and eventual marriage was ever flashy or over the top. They kept it simple, and simple worked.
The couple, who spent most of their adult lives near Clemons before moving to Glenwood Place in Marshalltown for the last two years, passed away a day apart after 62 years of marriage -- Art on March 13 and Sandi just 26 hours later on March 14.
The two, who both quit school at a young age, met when Art was 17 and Sandi was 15: he was from Eldora, and she hailed from Conrad. Even that detail isn't particularly dramatic or romantic, but they married a year later. They were introduced through mutual friends, and the story wasn't often told to their kids or grandkids.
When discussing her parents, their daughter Kathi Patten of the Albion area, joined by her husband Nick, kept returning to a common theme: simplicity.
They didn't go to bed mad at each other, and if there was a disagreement, they worked it out quickly. And as Nick Patten noted, they worked and had their own tasks -- Sandi handled laundry and cooking, and Art vacuumed, cleaned the house and mowed the lawn.
"One needed the other one all the time. They had their separate jobs, but one needed the other one for home stuff," Nick said. "You do your thing, I do my thing, but we're working together to do it."
Art worked various jobs as an adult, from farm labor to factory work to driving a school bus to trucking, but he always stayed humble. Like the Duncans, Nick's parents, Bill and Rosalee, have been nothing but supportive of the couple over the years, although Sandi Duncan joked that they were fools for getting married so young like they did.
Sandi spent the last five years battling dementia, and finally, two years ago, the difficult decision was made to move them to assisted living. According to Kathi, Art was told it was his job to stay with her at Glenwood.
"He took it so literally. He was just awesome with her," Kathi said.
In the last few months, Sandi's condition, which her daughter believed to be Transient Ischemic Attacks or TIAs, worsened, and after a visit where she was sick and Art was unresponsive, Kathi decided to move them to comfort care, which she called "peaceful" for both of them.
Although they had separate beds in adjoining rooms, Nick said he and a few others made the decision to move them together when they knew they didn't have much time left. Fittingly, when Art passed away, they were holding hands.
"They did everything together, so now, one couldn't live without the other one, literally," Nick said. "It's a really good love story, but there's not a lot of flair to go with it throughout the years."
Along with the joy of being parents and grandparents and their work -- the Orphan Grain Train in Clemons was something they were particularly passionate about -- faith was an integral part of the Duncans' lives. They were longtime members of St. John's Lutheran Church north of State Center until it closed, and they then became members of Trinity Lutheran Church in State Center.
Both Kathi and Nick have memories of her parents that will always stay with them. For Nick, it was their love of feeding birds and chasing squirrels off of the deck and the times he would help Art with mechanical issues -- "I don't know, it just broke" was his classic line -- and for Kathi, it was her mom's meticulous laundry routine and the cinnamon rolls she made that just don't taste the same now.
"There is not a lot to tell except (that) two young kids got married, had kids and grandkids forever, and that still wasn't enough for mom. She had to drive the bus for 30 years," Kathi said. "Dad was a hard working man and was a more fun parent because he could leave and not have to do the daily chores for children. They lived a simple life, hardworking, always had a smile on their face and were very willing to help others!"
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Contact Robert Maharry at 641-753-6611 ext. 255 or rmaharry@timesrepublican.com.