The popular children’s book, “Have You Filled A Bucket Today?” by Carol McCloud’s is a favorite among many families. For those who haven’t read it, the book’s premise is that everyone carries around an invisible bucket that throughout the day is being filled by the kind things that you do for others or that others do for you.

A bucket filler is someone who is showing positive character traits (kind, considerate, caring, respectful) and is being a responsible citizen. When buckets are full, a person feels happy and when buckets are empty, they feel sad. People should avoid being a bucket dipper by dipping into someone’s bucket when they are mean, hurtful or use unkind words. When people are bucket dippers they remove someone else’s good thoughts or feelings.

Create a family bucket filler system:

• First, begin by setting behavior expectations from each family member — yes parents, that includes you. Think about the positive behaviors and actions you want to see from your children. Likewise, think critically about the positive ways you can be a bucket filler and ask your children what they want to see.

Next, build your family buckets.

• One container (bucket, box, or jar) per family member — feel free to decorate them.

• One storage container to hold tokens. Lots of tokens. Good tokens include marbles, pebbles, poker chips or dry beans.

Bucket filling rules:

• Each time any family member is caught filling someone’s bucket, one token is earned and dropped into their bucket.

• Each time your child informs you about someone else filling their bucket, they will earn a token. If that other person is a sibling, they both earn a token.

• If an extraordinary act of kindness is observed, feel free to give Bonus Tokens to reward extra acts of kindness or generosity.

• If any family member is caught bucket dipping, a token is removed.

• For siblings, if you catch your child being mean to their sibling, you will remove a token from the Dipper and give it to the other child. The same rules apply for adults also participating in this activity.

Make it a rewarding experience by creating a rewards list that is visible by all members. To reinforce positive behavior, the rewards must be tangible. Rewards don’t have to cost money. They can be an extra story read at bedtime, getting to stay up an extra 30 minutes on the weekend, playing a game with the family, getting to choose what to or where to have for dinner, inviting a friend over for a play-date or extra cuddle time.

Remember…you are a bucket filler when you share, listen, hug, use manners, are kind to others, take turns, help, smile, give a compliment and so much more. As parents we want children to be bucket fillers towards others, but we have to make sure their bucket is overflowing with good and happy thoughts first.

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Carrie Kube is a Director for the Iowa River Valley Early Childhood Area Board.