Think of your first appointment as a consultation: a chance to meet with the therapist and make sure you’re a good fit. Your first session will be different from future visits.

The initial visit is a period for you and your therapist to get to know each other and get an idea of how to proceed. Future visits will be more therapeutic in nature. For example, in your second session, you may explore a specific symptom, problem, or past trauma you mentioned in the first session.

Keep in mind that therapy usually requires multiple visits so don’t expect solutions to your problems the first day. Therapy is about equipping you with lifelong solutions and not a quick fix. Therapy won’t tell you the answers. A good therapist is a guide, not a guru.

It’s tempting to ask a therapist, “What should I do?” But a therapist is meant to help you come to those answers yourself, not answer the question for you. That can feel frustrating in the beginning, but in the end, it’s empowering.

The first session will probably start off with some pleasantries followed by the therapist asking what brought you to therapy, and what you hope to get out of it. They might also ask you what symptoms you have; what do you feel is wrong in your life; and some questions about your history, including your childhood, education, relationships (family, romantic, friends), your current living situation, and your career.

They might explain their style of therapy and ask if it sounds like a good fit for you. Be sure to ask any questions you have. You might be wondering about their approach to therapy, any special techniques they use, or if they have worked with clients whose experiences were similar to yours. You and the therapist should come to an agreement about the length of your treatment, methods to be employed, and the ins and outs of confidentiality.

Some tips to get the most out of your therapy session:

1) Be open and honest. Having an open mind is very important for the initial conversation between you and your therapist. Tell the complete truth so your therapist can get a correct picture of your current situation and provide accurate treatment. The session is in a safe place and you can rest assured the therapist will not share your secrets. They won’t laugh at you or judge you. Their only goal is to help you. If you feel uncomfortable being yourself or sharing everything, tell your therapist. This information is helpful to them. Knowing how you tick can often give them the information they need to help.

2) Go with the feeling. If you feel like crying or laughing or burying your face in a pillow, therapy is a place you can do that.

3) Ask questions. Treat this session almost like a job interview for your therapist. You can ask about their professional experiences as well as different treatment methods. A good relationship between you and your therapist relies on trust. 3) Prepare. It’s always best to go into any situation with an idea of what to expect. Read articles or practice verbalizing your problems.

4) Focus. Don’t think about payments and scheduling. Just think about the work you are doing. The therapist will manage the time so there’s no need to watch the clock.

Know that sometimes therapy will be hard. Some days you’ll leave therapy beaming, but other days, you might leave therapy feeling emotionally vulnerable, sad, or upset. That’s part of the process. Try to schedule therapy at a time when you’ll be able to decompress after your session is finished.

Therapy takes time and it takes a willingness to be open. Like playing a video game, you’ll probably reach certain levels where it takes a few tries, or it’s frustrating, or it’s not quite what you thought it would be. But sticking around helps to unlock things we didn’t even know we were looking for.

If you’re thinking about trying therapy, I hope this helps you know more of what to expect from it.

——

Becky Brown and Deb Williams are the

co-founders of Together We Can, a mental health

peer support nonprofit based in Marshalltown.