What is self-confidence, anyway? Confidence is hard to define, but self-confidence generally refers to a sense of comfort with yourself and your instincts and a belief that you can trust your own abilities, knowledge, and judgment.

Confident people welcome new challenges because they know that they are reasonably up to the challenge. And their self-worth doesn’t hinge on the outcome. They’ll try their best and are motivated to pursue their goals without overthinking or internalizing too much.

They approach things in life without uncertainty and nerves.

Rather than being judgmental or hostile toward other people’s success, confident people celebrate others and feel genuine happiness for them rather than envy or comparison. They are inspired to learn what they can about how others succeed. They don’t rationalize others’ successes or their own failures.

They may not be positive all the time, but they do keep a growth mindset. When they make a mistake, they usually can see the humor and are more likely to respond with laughter and easily overcome insecurity or shame.

People can be confident in specific areas of their lives, too. Some are more confident in their athletic abilities than their cooking expertise. Others could be confronted with a lack of confidence in certain academic subjects.

The areas where people feel self-confident often represent what they’re most passionate about in life.

Getting self-confidence is about creating it for yourself. Getting self-confidence is about doing, about taking action to start believing in yourself. To gain self-confidence is like gaining any skill. It takes determination and practice and involves doing things, big and small, over time.

Getting self-confidence can feel like a catch-22. It requires actions and practice to acquire it, yet a lack of self-confidence can make any action feel impossible. For that reason, it can be tempting to wait until you have a little more self-confidence before really diving in and taking action to get more self-confidence. Unfortunately, without doing things to build this skill, self-confidence won’t develop.

Gaining self-confidence, then, is about doing things in spite of insecurities and anxieties. Everyone can learn how to be more confident in different, powerful ways. What may work for some may not work for all, and that’s okay.

Here are 11 ways to help build self-confidence:

1) Stop comparing yourself to others

2) Celebrate and reflect on your wins

3) Embrace your failures and view them as learning opportunities

4) Step out of your comfort zone

5) Treat yourself with respect

6) Have positive self-talk or affirmation sessions

7) Track your progress

8) Pursue passions that make you happy

9) Allow yourself to be curious

10) Think about your big goals

11) Stand up for yourself

Self-confidence doesn’t happen by accident. It comes from repeated practice and small successes which build into large successes. With the right commitment and effort, you can build your self-confidence in a short period of time and, as you continue with the positive habits, your self-confidence will continue to grow.

If you would like some help in building your self-confidence, set up a time to meet with Becky or Deb at Together We Can. You can stop in at 8 West Church Street or call (515) 391-3233. We would be glad to help you build your confidence.

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Becky Brown and Deb Williams are the cofounders of Together We Can, a mental health nonprofit based in Marshalltown.