Ernst

It’s spooky season and old haunts are returning from beyond the grave.

There’s no reason to fear this zombie apocalypse, however, because it’s that time of the year when boarded-up businesses are coming back to life as Spirit Halloween stores.

Spirit Halloween’s successful “body-snatching” business model scares up a haunting idea for reviving the government’s graveyard of lifeless real estate.

It is no secret that federal office buildings are largely empty. In fact, back in 2023, I exposed that the Department of Housing and Urban Development and the Social Security Administration used just 7% of their office space. While they are the worst offenders, they are not alone. More than half of the space inside the headquarters of nearly every federal agency has gone unused for years.

One of the main issues was egregious telework abuse by Biden’s bureaucrats where as little as 6% of telework eligible individuals actually showed up to work five days a week.

Despite President Trump calling the federal employees back to work, many government offices are still ghost towns. More than half of the space inside the headquarters of nearly every agency has gone unused for years, with 7,697 government buildings completely vacant. Another 2,265 are partially empty with just a skeleton staff.

Deserted and left in a state of disrepair for years, many of these buildings have been condemned to a fate worse than death. One is described as a “roach-infested mold dungeon.” Bugs were crawling out of faucets and creeping across the floor at another. Others are literal death traps. The drinking water in many buildings is a deadly potion of toxic metals and biohazards.

Renovations and upgrades to make the horrifying offices habitable again would cost taxpayers– prepare yourself for a jump scare — $370 billion!

Yes folks, that’s “BILLION” with a B.

That’s not all. Maintaining these office spaces is quite costly to taxpayers. Every year, Washington pays out over $81 million.

Instead of wasting billions of dollars, let’s sell off these haunted houses that are unused and unneeded to businesses who can breathe new life into them.

That trick would be a real treat for taxpayers because it would both reduce costs and bring in billions of dollars from monstrous sales.

It’s an idea only a zombie wouldn’t like since it’s such a no-brainer.

One of the main hurdles to making this reality has been the entrenched bureaucracy that has created red tape and a maze of regulations designed to frustrate, delay, and derail any efforts.

I am introducing the Disposing of Inactive Structures and Properties by Offering for Sale And Lease (DISPOSAL) Act to immediately auction off six specific government buildings and fast track the sale of many other unneeded and underutilized properties by undoing regulatory hurdles that deep state bureaucrats have weaponized to delay past efforts.

Congress should embrace the Halloween spirit by passing this bill and let the unfurling of Spirit Halloween banners begin!

Potential buyers should act before these deals vanish like a ghost.

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Republican Joni Ernst, a native of Red Oak and a combat veteran, represents Iowa in the United States Senate.