St. Patrick’s Day is one of my favorite “Special Occasion Days” like April Fools and Friday the 13th. I like to play pranks on these days. Actually, as I write this, it is Friday the 13th. Hmm, what kind of a prank can I pull today?

Last year on St. Patrick’s Day I had an appointment with my oncologist in Iowa City. At previous appointments, one of his questions, along with any swelling of lymph nodes, weight loss/gain, etc., was any rashes? I had never had a rash, but it being St. Patrick’s Day, I thought a nice green rash on my abdomen would be just the ticket to get his gander. So, with a green magic marker, before I left home, I made a big green splotch on my side, tucked my shirttail in, and off I went. Of course I wore a green cap and shirt.

Sure enough, at the appointment, he asked if I had any rashes. I pulled up my shirt, displayed the green rash and he just about flipped his lid.

I said, “Happy St. Patrick’s Day, Doc. A leprechaun bit me.”

He looked at the “rash,” looked at me, and then broke into a big grin. “You got me, Curt,” he said. “I ought to give you a double-dose infusion and fry you with radiation for that one.”

He then called in the other docs, nurses and aides on the floor and had them look at my “rash.” He said it was the first St. Patrick’s Day joke he had ever had pulled on him, and he hoped it was his last.

Looking at my calendar I see I have an appointment with my dermatologist on St. Patrick’s Day. I wonder what kind of a rise I can get out of her with a green mole? (I need to be careful, she has that freeze gun!)

I think a good joke, or humor, helps immensely in the healing process. A positive mental attitude and trust in God go a long way.

Years ago on St. Patrick’s Day, back in my college drinking days, one of the local campus pubs had free green beer. Oh, my. The limit was supposed to be two, but ya know. I wound up getting a DUI in the middle of the day. Not cool. That was the most expensive free beer I ever had. Lesson learned: nothing is free.

Which plays into the Irish. St. Patrick’s Day is celebrated because St. Patrick is the Saint who brought Christianity into Ireland. In Chicago, they celebrate by dumping green dye in the Chicago River, or they do it on the Saturday before March 17th, instead of giving Chicago’s Irish the actual day off, Tuesday. Gotta keep the economy rolling.

My son was supposed to be a St. Patrick’s Day baby, although he surprised everybody by coming a day early. He’s still a lucky guy and I’m lucky to call him “son.”

St. Patrick’s Day also gives us, for those who choose to do so, a little break in the fasting, or whatever we gave up, for Lent. Years ago, I actually went on a 40-day fast, starting on Lent and ending on Easter Sunday, at Sunrise Service. Following the Service we had a church potluck. All that food following a fast wreaked havoc with my body.

I should clarify that I did not go on a true fast. I allowed myself to drink juice, but not eat solid food. I drank a lot of orange juice, and got so sick of V8 that I haven’t been able to drink it since. On St. Patrick’s Day I went for the green Gatorade and have been drinking it ever since.

I’m not Irish, but I’ll celebrate anyone’s special occasion day as long as I can pull a prank or two. It’s the paybacks I don’t like.

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Have a good story? Call or text Curt Swarm in Mt. Pleasant at 319-217-0526 or email him at curtswarm@yahoo.com. Curt is available for public speaking.