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Jim Wares: Mousenstein … It’s Alive!

Ilearned that mice, if given half a brain, half a human brain, they get sort of uppity. Think they know everything. Obnoxious, little half-ounce dilettantes I tell you.

Why, just a few moments ago as I was writing this, a scrawny, little Mus musculus scurried across my desk and sat on its haunches between my wrist as I typed. With its back to me, it peered up at the screen of my laptop and read what I have written thus far. Without looking back at me, the pompous varmint said, “You need a comma between the words ‘little’ and ‘half’ in the sentence, ‘Obnoxious, little half-ounce dilettantes …'”

I said, “No, mouse. The adjective ‘little’ is cumulatively associated with the word ‘half.’ I don’t need a comma there.”

Mouse said, “Well, I think it’s a coordinate adjective; not cumulative. You need a comma.”

Now, most generally, I have a great deal of patience with the sort of stupidity that doesn’t realize just how stupid their stupidity is, but with a mouse? I sneered and asked, “From what podunk institution did you get your education, Mouse?” I thought I had the Swiss cheese-brained critter backed into a corner.

Mouse said, “The Salk Institute for Biological Studies.”

I said, “Shut up, Mouse.”

Uppity, obnoxious, little half-ounce know-it-all I tell you.

Science writer Sharon Begley explains in an article entitled “Miniature Human Brains Grow for Months When Implanted in Mice Skulls”, published on April 17, 2018 in “STAT” and reprinted in the “Scientific American” online publication, how it is a mouse comes to have a human brain … or at least a portion of one.

The journey to such an end is quite amazing. The scientist at the Salk Institute, as with most scientist, operate with the curiosity and heart of the explorer venturing onto open seas in search of the other side in spite of the accepted wisdom that there is no other side…just an edge…an end…then finding that the earth, an orb, has no end. The scientist at Salk didn’t merely remove a small piece of a human volunteer’s brain and insert it into the skull of a mouse…they made it. One cell, coaxed into two, then three, eventually millions, chemically influenced and guided until neurons, blood vessels and synaptic pathways were formed, until finally a two millimeter in diameter section of a human brain took shape. Scientists have a name for these creations … organoids.

Researchers implant organoids of human brains, kidneys, pancreases and such into living mice and pigs, allowing the systems of their bodies to incubate and nurture these manufactured fragments of human bodies. They do this in search of answers to such things as cancer, Alzheimer’s, transplant stocks and diabetes.

Within this singular story, alongside a great measure of achievement, lies an abundance of ethical questions having answers upon which even the most reasonable of people could disagree. From the fact that human stem cells are being toyed with, to the ethical treatment of animals in experimentation, to the accusations that we are becoming the “Modern Prometheus”…creators of the new Frankenstein…tiptoeing nearer the realization of the Puppymonkeybaby, the cutest of monstrosities…all weighed against the fact we wouldn’t have anesthetics, pacemakers, the polio vaccine or insulin without such research.

As I think about at least one of these ethical dilemmas, I come to a most astute answer … which is … I don’t know.

The image of an animal being intentionally tortured in a lab evokes within me a deeply visceral and emotional response. The image of a friend withering and wasting away with an insidious cancer evokes within me a deeply visceral and emotional response.

There is a website called ProCon.org that addresses this question, “Should animals be used for scientific or commercial testing?” In one column there are thirteen arguments in favor of the use of animals in medical research. In another column there are 13 arguments taking a stand against using animals in medical research. After carefully reading through each of the thirteen arguments, pro, and then each of the 13 arguments, con, I found myself standing in the confusing and awkward place where I had to say, “Yeppers, I agree.”… 26 times. Had I hair, this is where I would begin to pull it all out.

“I don’t know” is OK with me. It is at times the most courageous, responsible and judicious answer possible. Too many of the challenges confronting us are complicated and need more than mere deeply visceral and emotional responses. It is the decisions we make that are the stepping stones into our future. The decisions we make in wisdom carry us to one future. The decisions we make in ignorance carry us to another.

“I don’t know” is an oasis in a vast, dry and desolate desert. It is a place where the traveler may rest in the shade of date palms, quench his thirst with cool water … and think … gain wisdom before choosing the direction of his journey through the desert.

Mouse is asking for a red Sharpie. Says he wants to make a few corrections. Mouse thinks he knows everything. Uppity, obnoxious, little half-ounce know-it-all I tell you.

What Mouse doesn’t know and has failed to considered is … me and commas … and ellipses … we have a relationship; perhaps something of an illicit relationship, though a very, very cozy one. I’m not going to let some stupid mouse diminish this relationship. This is all I have learned today.

——–

James Wares lives in Marshalltown and can be reached at whatjimhaslearnedtoday@yahoo.com

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