The irony of it all. November 3, 36 years ago, I was so drunk I fell through the glass top of my coffee table at 2:00 am in the morning, cut myself to smithereens, and almost bled to death. November 3 of this year, 2025, I will be at University of Iowa Hospital and Clinics having a MRI of my brain and a full-body CT scan. Ginnie will be with me of course. It’s not the way I would usually celebrate a sobriety birthday, but in a sense it may be better. I expect the CT scan to verify that I am cancer free, and the MRI of my brain to show that I have one. LOL! Joking aside, I expect the MRI of my brain to show that I am free of any cerebral embolisms (blood clots in the brain). A couple of months ago I wound up in the hospital with many small pulmonary embolisms in my lungs. My oncologist wanted to make sure none of those embolisms made it to my brain. I don’t think they did. I haven’t been experiencing any numbness, slurred speech or, well, I guess I have been dealing with dizziness, nausea and a little blurred vision. So maybe it’s a good thing I’m having the brain MRI.

In much the same manner as I addressed alcoholism, I address cancer. My cancer was diagnosed as Merkel Cell Carcinoma, and was primarily located in lymph nodes in my neck. With alcoholism, I put the disease in God’s hands, prayed each day for Him to help me stay sober, got heavily involved with a self-help group, and, oh, yes, God confronted me face to face and changed my life. With cancer, I also put it in God’s hands, trusted the doctors, took my medications as directed and tried not to get discouraged — which is difficult. I’m well into my second year with the Big C and side effects of immunotherapy. Ugh.

But I’m thankful I’m sober while going through all this. If I really wanted problems, I could add alcohol to the mix. That would be a surefire route to self destruction, losing Ginnie and this wonderful life we have built on the Empty Nest Farm.

I am here on this planet to help people. The message is loud and clear. Prayer is my main platform for helping people. My hour of prayer and meditation in the morning is dedicated to praying for people in need. If I had another occupation to choose for myself it would be as some type of monk who spends his entire life, prostrate, in prayer for a worthy cause, like world peace, end of starvation or end of pollution. When I’m in prayer I feel a closeness to God that is both healing and energizing. Why would I not want to spend a lifetime in such euphoric ecstasy?

So, at 36 years clean and sober and age 77, I feel the best years of my life are yet to come. When I fell through that glass top of the coffee table, almost bleeding to death, I could have given up right then and there. But there was a little voice inside of me that kept saying, “Give it one more try.” I am to carry that message to others. “Give it one more try.” Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary condition. The steps to sobriety taught me many things. The way I feel in this moment may not be the way I feel in the next, and probably isn’t. (This too shall pass.) It’s not the eighteenth drink that gets me in trouble, it’s the first. So don’t take the first drink. Be easy on others and hard on myself. There is a God and I’m not Him.

The self-help group I belonged to nicknamed me “Coffee Table Curt” because of the trip I made through the glass “ceiling.” I could have signed off right then and there, but I didn’t. I gave it one more try. That try has led to a life I couldn’t even imagine. We are not supposed to know the future.

I have no idea what the brain image on November 3rd is going to reveal. (I am writing this on October 30th.) It makes no difference. I’m in God’s hands. Whatever is His Will for me, I am content. He gives me marching orders, I obey. This 36th sobriety anniversary is the finest of them all. I am at complete peace. The greatest gift from that trip through the glass “ceiling” was not sobriety, it was the knowledge of God.

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Have a good story? Call or text Curt Swarm in Mt. Pleasant at 319-217-0526 or email him at curtswarm@yahoo.com. Curt is available for public speaking.