CONTRIBUTED PHOTO An Oct. 15 Shared Burial service will allow grieving parents to place an item in a casket. The service will take place at Center School Cemetery.

The loss of an infant during pregnancy is a grievous moment for anyone. Sometimes, if the loss occurred early in the pregnancy, there is not a burial service and the parents are left without any real closure.

To help those people reach that closure, a Shared Burial will take place at the Center School Cemetery at 5:30 p.m. on Oct. 15 — Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day.

Holly Erbes experienced two miscarriages, the first happened two years ago ironically on Oct. 15. Feeling the great sense of loss of her 16-week infant, the only thing she thought would help was to have another baby. After only a few months, Erbes experienced a second miscarriage nine weeks into her pregnancy.

“After my second loss, I really started questioning why this had happened to me and what the purpose of it was,” she said. “I started doubting myself, my beliefs and even my job and whether or not the Catholic school was the place for me to be at the time because I could not understand what God wanted me to learn from this experience.”

Erbes was told to channel her anger and grief into something that could benefit others. She wanted to pursue a Shared Burial — a service bringing together people who have experienced a miscarriage or infant loss.

Erbes learned about the event through a friend in Pennsylvania, and how it helps people process their grief with the help of others who have gone through the same thing.

“I really wanted to bring these to Marshalltown and I just thought it would be so cool to set our community apart because this wasn’t a thing in Iowa,” she said.

Participants are asked to bring something to place in a casket, such as a copy of an ultrasound picture or a note written to the infant. The casket will be buried, a marker will be placed and will give people a physical location to visit. The plot is donated and the service sponsored by Mitchell Funeral Home.

“It will give families something to validate their baby and it will help them feel like it is a real thing,” Erbes said.

A candle lighting service will also be held, a song will be sung and the grave will be blessed.

“We want everyone to know they are welcome to come and check it out,” Erbes said.

DIRECTIONS:

The service will take place at Center School Cemetery, which is in the country. Erbes said people should drive west on Iowa Avenue, take a left on Parker Avenue and then a right on 248th Street.

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Contact Lana Bradstream at 641-753-6611 or lbradstream@timesrepublican.com.