The ad in the newspaper was tantalizing: “AI for seniors. 3 hours in two sessions offered by the County Extension Office through Iowa State University. Must be 60 or over. No fee. Research your health info.”

Voila! I was wondering how to use AI. I didn’t want to be left in the dark as technology moved forward, like an old tractor parked behind the machine shed. I know I could use AI in my writing for research, not that I would use AI to write an Empty Nest column. The whole reason I write the column is for the pleasure of creating. Writing is an art, and the satisfaction I glean from storytelling cannot be replaced by cookie-cutter recipes that spit out paragraphs like a pancake machine.

I had explored ChatGPT a little bit, and had it write a short simple story: Husband and wife, car trouble, low on money, children sick, etc. ChatGPT did a pretty fair job of spitting out a believable, interesting story, complete with dialogue, emotions and resolution. But, I can do the same thing: write 1,000 words on any topic or thing, only my story would be true(ish).

And I do wish AI had a different acronym. You see, I’m in my late 70s and from rural Iowa. AI means only one thing to me: Artificial Insemination. Where I came from AI even became a verb: “Farmer Fred got rid of his Angus bull, and had his heifers AI’d.” How ’bout MI (Machine Intelligence) or CI (Computer Intelligence)? Every time I hear AI I think of a cow in a head gate.

Of course there’s the fear factor associated with AI. “AI WILL TAKE OVER THE WORLD!” “AI WILL CREATE ITS OWN HIGHER INTELLIGENCE!” “WE’RE ONLY 3 SOFTWARE UPGRADES AWAY FROM ARMAGEDDON!” I don’t diminish these concerns, although they are hyped up by late-night TV commercials selling miracle arthritis cream. I look at AI as a tool, especially for us seniors (who need all the help we can get!). In the “Golden Years” the elderly are besieged with health concerns. (90% of all medical expenses occur in the last 10 years of life). We spend the majority of our time going to the doctor, pharmacy and funerals, sometimes all in the same day. A main feature of the free AI class was introducing us to the simple maneuver of copy and pasting those unreadable medical reports into AI, and having them simplified. Far out, man!

Thankfully, AI is incredibly user friendly. And it’s a good thing. Us seniors aren’t exactly Silicon Valley material. If I can call up ChatGPT without knowing anything about it, and have it write a short story for me within minutes, well then, I know most elderly can also. If they try.

What does ChatGPT stand for? Good question. It stands for Chat Generative Pre-Trained Transformer. (That makes no sense!) What’s the benefit of using AI as compared to say, Google? Another good question. With Google, users often spend time clicking through multiple websites, advertisements and recipes for gluten-free zucchini casseroles. AI summarizes relevant information more quickly and conversationally.

Different AI platforms other than ChatGPT are Google Gemini, Claude and Perplexity. Each has its advantages and disadvantages. It’s “dealer’s choice” when it comes to deciding which works best for you. And each platform is constantly changing and upgrading.

I’m glad I took the class. I now know enough to be dangerous! It’s a big, scary world out there, and if we don’t stick with it, we’ll be left in the dust. Enrolling in this class was like the Cancer Survivor Class I took. I felt so much better just rubbing shoulders with other cancer patients. Old dogs can learn new tricks, if the instructions are printed in large font.

No sooner did I take the class than I ran across a flowering tree that I had never seen before, nor knew the name of. Presto! Through a simple cell phone picture, ChatGPT identified it as a Japanese Lilac Tree. Then there was this yard long snake out beside our Lincoln Log Raised Garden. I almost stepped on it. Ginnie nearly fainted and ran for the house screaming, like a monster was after her. ChatGPT to the rescue! It’s a Gopher or Bull Snake and quite valuable. You know those chipmunks that drill holes in your yard? Yep, that snake can slither right down those holes. Lunch time!

I’d like to thank the Iowa State Extension Office and Des Moines County for conducting this class for us technically challenged seniors.

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Have a good story? Call or text Curt Swarm in Mt. Pleasant at 319-217-0526 or email him at curtswarm@yahoo.com. Curt is available for public speaking.